Some people would say it was a good the deployment. I was never in "the shit" and I don't feel my life was ever threatened. I didn't see the horrors that I've heard about this whole deployment; pulling out the shattered remains of still moving friends out of a vehicle watching your battle buddy fly 20ft in the air when a huge IED blasts your vehicle.
Maybe I'm it's my ignorance or maybe I don't value my life enough but being stuck here on base has left a bad taste in my mouth.
My goal for this deployment was to take some compelling photography and to write about the servicemembers out on the frontlines. The opportunity was there but there was a wall. My commanding officer thought it was worth it to risk my life for photographs. Who knows I might die while he was in charge. I believe if a Soldier will risk his life to defend my freedom why shouldn't I be able to risk my life to take his picture.
I think I ended up being my units morale officer, the one taking pictures of all those meaningless awards and morale events that I could care less about and serve only to waste my time and skills.
What's passed has passed though... and looking back I've learned a lot. I've definitely gained a lot of wisdom. There are a lot of opportunities to capture or even be a part of history here in Afghanistan, just not with the "Seabees" as the community I deployed with is called. My job as a photojournalist just doesn't have a place in the Seabee world and I think the Navy is being too slow realize this. Hopefully we will no longer be assigned to these units in the future. It's all wisdom though, I know I'll never join one of these units again. It took me one bad experience to learn this but it was worth it.
I made friendships with Soldiers and experienced the camaraderie of the Army something I have never felt in the Navy. It's funny how random moments of silliness and sharing personal information brings Soldiers together. Things like huddling around around a barrel fire, shaving each other heads, or just arguing about what is the best part of a women are some of the fond memories from this deployment. Teaching Soldiers how to get the most out of flash with their cameras, photo shooting techniques and passing desktop publishing tips...
Still while I did a good job and completed my tasking I don't feel like I accomplished my mission.
Soon I'll leave Afghanistan but I know I'll be back four months later with a different unit, one more public affairs friendly. My hopes lay there I guess. It will be my second chance at Afghanistan.
